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This is one of the weird days in my family.   Weird sounds wrong.  Sad, painful, joyful, agonizing, hopeful, happy, and tear-filled also sound at the same time wrong and yet right.  It’s hard to explain this one, but I’ll try.

Today is my niece’s birthday.  Happy birthday sweetie!  We love you and want all the best for you!

Today is the anniversary of my niece’s death and entrance into heaven.

Different niece.  You see what I mean?  Oh, and it happens again later on in the year.  Involving the same people.

Take this confusion and multiply it by about a thousand and you might know what it feels like on a day like this, when your emotions are just a bit all over the place and you are reminded of your sadness at the untimely death of a small child and at the same time the joy of knowing she is with God and also at the same time the desire you have to celebrate the life of the niece who is with us.

For my sister, and her husband and children, who lost their child seven years ago today, I love you and have never stopped thinking about Fi.  She is a part of our daily lives, and I know she is helping us every day.  Have peace.

For my niece, it’s OK to be happy today.  We certainly are.  We couldn’t imagine life without you and your wicked sense of humor and hair styling.  Plus, who would show up at my door at 3 AM and insist on spending the night  with me even though I didn’t think I needed it because I had just had a baby and the Husband had to be at work?  Have peace.

I’d like to ask everyone to pray for both of these women today, who are connected in a way I don’t think many others can understand.  Please pray for peace and happiness, acceptance and joy.