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Catholic, Catholic Mom, Children, family, Jesus, kids, mama kat, Mom, motherhood, Necco Wafers, parenting, postaday, Rosary, writer's workshop, writing prompt
Moms say all sorts of crazy things. We all know this. We’ve all said things like, “Put down the banana and step away from the toilet,” before. Saying crazy, seemingly nonsensical things is just a normal part of the mom life.
Add to that being Catholic, and you get a whole new world of crazy sayings that seem to escape your mouth before you even know you’ve thought them. Here’s my top 10 list of crazy things I’ve said as a Catholic mom:
Whatever you do, don’t drop Jesus.
Let’s practice receiving Communion. The Necco Wafers are Jesus Body and the grape juice will be the Blood.
This, right here, this behavior. It’s making Jesus cry.
It’s making Jesus’ Mommy cry too!
Get the crucifix out of your mouth!
Here baby, chew on mommy’s Scapular. Mary doesn’t mind baby spit.
If you don’t stop your noise right now, mommy is going bop you over the head with this missalette.
No, you cannot fill up your water guns with the Holy water to chase after the bad angels.
The statue of the Blessed Mother is not an action figure! Get her out of the Bat Cave!
Mommy should be able to leave a statue of the Blessed Mother on the table without worrying about her getting covered in ketchup!
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So, what crazy things have you said to your kids?
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In response to prompt number 4 in this weeks edition of Mama Kat’s Pretty Much World Famous Writer’s Workshop. Head on over and check out the awesomeness.
Life at Le. Rheims 
Get your hand out of the holy water bowl. Stop splashing your brother with the holy water. Get out from under that pew. Your rosary is not a (1) ninja weapon (2) necklace (3) headband. You’re not wearing THAT to Mass. If you don’t pray, you don’t eat. You can’t make up sins just to make your confession longer. Please make sure your little brother’s soutan isn’t too long so he doesn’t trip again going up the sanctuary when Mass starts.
lol Yeah, I’ve said most of that too, except the soutan one (none are old enough yet). Let’s not forget what my sister has had to say before, “If I see you trying to light your brother’s hair on fire on the Altar again, you’re grounded!”
I love it! Even though I am Catholic, I had to look up Scapular. Bad, bad, Catholic!
lol We usually just call it, “Mary’s little chew toy”. Seriously. All of my kids have been kept entertained during Mass with mine. 🙂
Stop swinging on the holy water font…ok, that was a new one even for my 5th child…he’s 2.
One of my kids announced “I don’t have to say grace if my lunch isn’t hot” . That initiated my brief time of heating up thermoses for school, but I don’t do that anymore!
What about, “Father was not being rude because he didn’t wave back. He was saying the Consecration.”
This is awesome!
C’mon Harvey, join in! Or trek us about when my beautiful God daughter smacks you around during Mass. 🙂
I have to say filling water guns with holy water is BRILLIANT. The downside would of course be if they caught you by surprise and your reaction makes them wonder if you really were afflicted with a bad angel.
Too true, Sue. That would be bad. I’ve also had to tell them to stop attacking each other with holy water b/c just being naughty does not necessarily mean one is possessed.
Thanks for visiting. I love that the blessed mother does not belong in the bat cave.
Yeah, last I checked, there was no Our Lady of Gotham City. 🙂
“Don’t chew on Jesus” (my scapular is wooden and I didn’t want to scrap the painting off with her teeth).
“Put Jesus back on the cross!”
“Who took Jesus off the cross!”
“Baby Jesus is not a carrot” (veggie tale nativity set)
like 8kidsandabusiness “Your rosary is not a weapon”
“Father, where can I put these pictures my toddler son wants to give Jesus?” (answer: in the offeratory plate of course! and he did this for years)
As long as she was saving souls, I vote for Our Lady of Gotham City!
Those are awesome lol
LOL
As a Catholic, I can totally see Mary as an action figure. She’d be pretty tough to beat, too!
Yeah, she would. 🙂
My parents used to say…if you don’t say your prayers or know your mysteries, you will write them
These are hilarious! My little gals aren’t quite old enough to pull any of these, but I know the time is coming. Can’t wait until I put the nativity set out…I have a feeling the 2-year-old is going to be enamored when baby Jesus comes out…
hahahaha i love the one about making Jesus cry. I’ve used something similar before. =) I also recall some of those being said in various forms to me when I was growing up, too! Stopping by from Mama Kat’s
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