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Here’s the thing: I love the Devils. I mean I freaking L-O-V-E love them. They’re my team. Whether they’re winning or losing, whether it’s a good year or a bad one, they’re my boys and I love them. Right now, they’re winning (mostly; just ignore last night), and it’s a good time, which is always nice. My husband loves hockey in general, so he’ll grudgingly watch them with me simply because he’s a Flyers fan and we live in Devils territory, and he’s a good sport when I refuse to watch any game the Devils are not playing. I tell people we have a mixed marriage, because for us, hockey loyalty is almost as important as our religion. (Almost, but not, just to be clear.) At times, our trash talk and jokes though can confuse our kids, and that’s when we know it’s time to dial it back a bit and remind them (and us) that it’s “just a game”.
Take for instance right now. Currently my sons are all Devils fans, and I’m in hockey fan heaven. It doesn’t matter if we win, because I’m getting to enjoy watching my boys in the playoffs with my boys on the couch. Life is good. For me. For my husband, not so much. He has recently had to watch the Flyers suffer a sad loss to the Devils, while his sons cheered on “Mommy’s team” and he couldn’t even trash talk them because it’s the team his sons were rooting for. He’s a sports fan and he appreciates the game even if he isn’t a fan of either team. The same thing happens to me whenever any of the Philadelphia teams have a good game or season, but I don’t deal with it nearly as well as he does. I don’t pretend to be a sports fan. I’m one of those terrible things: someone who only enjoys watching her own teams play. When those teams are out for good, the season’s over for me.
In January, it was the same. The Husband sat here, watching the Giants win, watching the boys cheer them on, knowing that his team (the Eagles) had been eliminated. He likes watching football, and if it couldn’t be his team, at least it was his wife and kids’ team. And it’s not as if he hasn’t had his fair share of watching me squirm as the NY/NJ teams have not been playing at their best. As I said, I don’t deal with it well.
We have a couple of rules that make this mixed marriage slightly easier to bear. For one, we are not allowed to buy our children any team specific items, be they clothing, toys, equipment, or anything else. Family and friends, however, are allowed to purchase said items. We place the clothing in their drawers and let the kids pick their own things. Some shirts have languished at the bottom of the drawers for a couple of years while others have been worn to the point of getting threadbare. It’s up to the kids, and we don’t interfere. Another big rule is that we don’t push. The kids are welcome to root for whatever teams they wish, as long as it’s either a Mommy team or a Daddy team. This leads to the third and final rule: we do encourage home team loyalty as much as possible. This is important to both of us, and, much as the Husband would love for them all to be solely Philadelphia fans, he gets that, as we live in Newark, they’ll be more exposed to my teams, and he’s OK with that. He’s a Philadelphia fan because he grew up near Philly. I’m a fan of my teams because I grew up here, in Newark. The kids are allowed to root for teams from where they live or from where Daddy grew up. For both of us, what makes it fun is the fact that our teams are local. There’s no point in having loyalty to teams that aren’t local.
So, that’s how we survive our mixed marriage. So far, it’s been pretty much smooth sailing for us. We’ve seen both of our teams win, and so have our kids. If we can’t bring ourselves to root for each other’s teams, at least we’ve learned to be civil about it. Of course, I [not so] secretly hope and pray that my children will all grow up to be just as into the NJ Devils, the Mets, and the Giants as I am, but for now, I’m just happy that they’re with me when we’re winning.
And the Devils are awesome.
This is true.
I like the whole idea of letting them choose what team clothing to wear…it’s a good way to keep the peace! lol I wouldnt say it’s pointless for them to root for a team that isn’t local though. As they get older they may have some sports role models, like Tim Tebow (who may not always play for the Jets) or Peyton Manning, and they may want to root for their teams.
No. For us, it’s pointless. Teams, at their heart, are about rooting for your home, your city (or at least your area). Tim Tebow seems like a nice guy, and by all means, root for him as a person, but you will never find me rooting for the Jets, even if Eli started to play for them. We’re Giants fans, through and through (yes, all the boys have basically decided that, although they don’t dislike the Eagles). If Brodeur suddenly started playing for the Flyers, he’s be dead to me (metaphorically, at least). It’s the team we root for, and not specific players. That’s just us though. Other people obviously feel differently.
Hey, we made him that flyers hockey puck birthday cake a few years back, and am not a Philadelphia fan.
I know, right? Of course, we hid “Sucks!” on the side of it, but we just wouldn’t have been able to look ourselves in the mirror again if we hadn’t, and he totally understood that.
I’m going to have to figure out some sort of similar rule somewhere down the line, as the boyfriend and I don’t agree on a single team. I like the Devils, he likes the Islanders; I like the Giants, he like the Packers; I like the Yankees, he likes the Mets. *shrug* Idk, we’ll work something out lol.
At least he has some good taste (the Mets), but seriously? The Islanders? And why the Packers? What sense does that make?